How do you pin down a plot for a pantomime script that is classed as non-traditional? Especially one that – whilst with famous characters – has no straightforward storylines. Rather, it has iconic concepts and symbolic moments. I am speaking of my most recently penned script:  King Arthur – the panto.

Unlike traditional stories such as Aladdin and Cinderella, the legend of King Arthur darts about without a clear starting point or end goal. You can pick it up from almost any moment – depending on which version you read. Some have Arthur always destined to be King. Others as a random lad with honest qualities. Another with a Royal lineage and a lifelong plot to conceal his whereabouts. Could be a long show.

Perhaps by selecting any one of the 150 Knights of the Round Table and exploring their quests, or go to the Battle of Camlaan where Arthur meets his fate? Stabbed by a once-loyal Knight, he is taken to the Isle of Avalon to die, then rise again to become the “Once and Future King” in Britain’s hour of need. Seems a bit dark for a panto.

Where to pitch this comedy script? Above all things, I had to make sure it was panto-orientated. That meant no long drawn out character moments or complicated medieval affairs. It had to be fun. Death of the main character – not so fun.

(Interestedly, if you read more into this prophecy, there is always an Arthur leading a successful battle somewhere. Yes, its a popular name. Or is it King Arthur himself returning to do as he promised? I prefer the latter.)

So what did I have to work with?

Merlin is a powerful wizard who makes a prophecy that a young boy called Arthur will be King. Super! Now what does he do in the meantime until that happens? Could take a while. Oh, and according to Legend, Merlin is meant to have spent some time stuck in a tree. Maybe skip that part.

Arthur unexpectedly pulls a sword from a stone and becomes the King of Camelot. Great! Now does he just sit on his throne and wait for something bad to happen so he can dive into action? Or go on a journey for no particular reason?

Guinevere marries Arthur and gets embroiled in a love triangle with Sir Lancelot. (Sometimes, depends which version of the tale you read. Cross that one out. Not a child-friendly plot.) Does she do anything in Camelot to actually rule as its Queen? Be boring, otherwise. Especially if both Arthur and Lancelot are off on Quests. 

Then there is the evil gang. Mainly Morgan Le Fay. A few wrong deeds and she is cursed to sit tight and wait for Arthur to die so she can escort him to Avalon. Hope she’s brought a book. That man takes a while to snuff it. Too much pesky questing.

So this is the conundrum: with the Legend of King Arthur, we all know the characters. But in order to turn this British Legend into one storyline for a child-centred audience expecting laughs, I needed to find a way to connect them all together and fill in the blanks between the iconic moments. How to make the plot more than just a Wizard prancing about and waiting for something to happen. How to move the King, Queen and Knights across the Camelot chessboard.

Checkmate.

Pantomime requires certain ingredients in terms of character. I couldn’t just stick with these serious, famous names and have done with it. I needed to sprinkle in some fun ones. Not from the Legend of Camelot, but from the well of Panto-land itself.

A dame! I hear you screech from the back. No pantomime is ripe without one. I must have a dame in the mix. Who should she be? The villain? But last year I wrote Cinderella with her two Ugly Step-sisters. I didn’t want repeat myself. This I pondered for a while. I have an entire page dedicated to working out her name. For this had to be right. The Dame’s name tells you all you need to know. Consider the most famous panto dame of them all. From Aladdin: Widow Twanky. She is cranky. After a lot of scribbling, I found my dame. Once I had the name (ooh, that rhymed), I could build her character. Once you have a name, the personality follows. (For the answer, you’ll have to come and see the first performance in January, 2025!)

Then, I needed comedy. Lots of comedy. Merlin is too serious to be made the butt of the joke. Besides, I needed his magic to hold a threat and power, rather than buffoon-around. No. I needed a character that brought in the audience. Chatted to them, made friends with them. But – even more importantly – this audience-focused character must have pathos. 

Pathos is incredibly important in pantomime. Pathos is the moment of sadness. The time when the comedy drops, and empathy dominates. Where would we be without Buttons in Cinderella? His likability is his relationship with his audience, coupled with his unrequited love for Cinderella. We want to hug Buttons. 

It didn’t seem like any of the legendary characters suited this role. They were not huggable. The Knights needed to be strong, funny. They needed to be the guide through Camelot. Enter Juggles. My sweet Jester who just wants to giggle. He tries so hard, yet gets himself in scrapes. Ah Juggles.

Guinevere is given agency. No more damsel in distress status for her. The Knights are banded together. Dame in place. Juggles jesting. The baddies “badding”. (Plus a few surprise ones to make things interesting!)

Now I had all my characters, it was time to condense the plot. Back to that conundrum. Squeeze the years and years of Questing into one snappy story. Take the moments, and give them momentum. Writing a script is rarely linear. Sideways at best. You get distracted from plot problems by this need for character exploration. Then its back to this core issue at heart. Story.

I wanted it to be pacy. To move through Merlin’s prophecy, to Arthur’s ascension, to the threat of Camelot being toppled rapidly. To have Plot with a capital P. And I am pleased to say, I think I’ve done it. At least – I hope I have! I enjoyed writing it. And I hope it shows. Coming this January, 2025, I present, King Arthur – the panto! (The fun version!)